Hello, hello my beauties.
It’s been a hot minute.
I’ve missed you and I’ll be honest I’ve found it difficult to stick to my regular posting schedule for a few reasons.
Where do I even begin with this post? So much to share, on change and going with the flow and a few life updates and why my creative energy has been on pause.
My brain is on overload. And I don’t mean in the ‘Ugh, I’m so busy I don’t have time to blog’ kind of way. I’m saying it in a ‘Shit, my brain is on overdrive and there is so much to focus on that I can’t focus on anything’ kind of way.
And when I feel like that, it can be really hard for me to write from the heart. I start coming from an overthinking space that I no longer feel connected with my creative side.
Between this and my living situation changing overnight, I’ve been in a very ‘stuck’ mood.
For those of you who don’t know I’ve been sub leasing the apartment I was living in from someone who used to work at my side hustle.
Okay so to give you all a little bit of a back story. This summer when I was still living in Boulder and realized I wanted to move to Denver a coworker mentioned she wanted to sublease her apartment. To help her pay for it since she was now living with her boyfriend during the week.
I ended up telling her I was looking for a place. Honestly felt like the universe hand delivered this to me. At this moment in time, I still wasn’t ready to commit to a year-long lease. I feel like the apartment will come to me like everything else in life and when I am ready it will be there.
Anyways two weeks ago, she basically told me that I needed to move out because she couldn’t come up with her half of the rent. And I wasn’t willing to take over her lease. The entire experience wasn’t the best, we had a few mishaps and she was often late with rent. It was a very uncomfortable experience for me and I didn’t want to assume anything she left unfisnihed.
I would tell myself ‘hey it’s a good deal. It’s temporary’. The strange thing is when she asked me on Sunday afternoon if we could talk the next day, I had a feeling she was going to tell me she couldn’t pay her side of the rent anymore.
I had to move out the next day. Drastic change was up in the horizon.
I spent the night packing with the help of my mom, stepdad and Rylee. I was moved out and moved into my mom’s the next morning by 10:00 am.
After talking to my mom I decided to move in with her for the next few months. I can really take this time to focus on the blog, growing my brand and taking it to the next level.
So that when May is here I can transition into that full time role I’ve been working on for the last three years.
That’s my goal.
It was hard at first. I haven’t lived at home since I left Panama. Letting go of the story that kept telling me I was going backward, instead of moving forward, is hard. On top of that, I knew it would be an adjustment, going from living alone to living with others.
Change and me don’t always get along.
An overwhelming sensation takes over, my motivation and drive start to get cloudy and I start to feed the negative side of my emotions. This doesn’t help my already ‘stuck’ mood.
That was until on the full moon last week, a week exactly after moving into my moms, I met with a business coach that made sense of it all.
She brought calm to my chaos and connected the dots to bring me back to a place where I could gather the puzzle pieces to start assembling the puzzle itself.
It was a magical meeting.
It also helped me realize that this moment of transition and change is so much more than just a move.
It’s letting go and going with the flow.
It’s letting go of expectation.
It’s embracing change.
Looking at it all as an opportunity to grow.
That brings me to the next part of all of this.
After my wonderful talk with my business coach, I’ve been slowly feeling more creatively stimulated.
My intuitive business coach asked me if I could do anything in life, what would it be.
I smiled to myself. She smiled back and asked me if a clear vision came up.
I’ve had this extremely clear vision of myself on stage speaking to thousands of you at a time about mental health, sharing my journey on what it’s like to live with the label of manic depressive illness and what that means to me, reaching new levels of consciousness through cannabis, where we are all love and have the power to heal ourselves, connecting mind and body.
Along with that vision, I see myself writing books, and connecting with all of you through workshops and retreats. I’ve always considered myself a guinea pig and follow our passion was the way I shared and will continue to share my journey with the hopes that it speaks to one of you and helps you in a time of need.
This brings me to so some amazing news! I’m excited to announce that we are creating the #unicornmonkeyclub clothing brand. This is a new venture I’m embarking on with my momma bear, where we create one of a kind hand painted and embroidered shirts and sweaters. Each shirt, sweater, and
That is my next step growing the unicorn monkey movement and finding a way to connect the mental health community with the cannabis community and smashing the stigma around both. I’m beyond excited to embark in this new adventure! And cannot wait to share more on #unicornmonkeyclub.
Thank you all for the unconditional love and support throughout the years.
I am excited to see what the future holds!
Cheers to celebrating three years in a week! Cheers to change.
Love you all.
SNEAK PEAK-> Peep the shirts in this post, the ‘smash the stigma + pig’ shirt and the ‘ganja alien’ shirts are the first two shirts in the #unicornmonkeyclub collection.