What I Wish People Understood About Suicide
TRIGGER WARNING: this article contains sensitive content regarding suicide and depression. If you are suffering please know you are not alone. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is . It gets better.
This year I lost a close friend to suicide, like most suicides, it came as a complete and utter shock to all of her loved ones. I honestly couldn’t believe it. She was one of my oldest friends from high school. I wrote a letter to her a few days after her suicide.
It also opened up old wounds, suicide isn’t something new to me, not only did I lose an aunt to suicide when I was in my early twenties but I also had a difficult road where I myself tried taking my life multiple times.
Each year during September I like to bring extra awareness to suicide in honor of Suicide Prevention Month. The thing is something always happens and someone will somehow bring something up and I feel myself getting tense, upset and slowly getting over emotional over a comment someone made and really have no idea can make me this upset.
That brought me to this next thought and that was if I don’t let anyone know that it bothers me how can I expect them to ever know and then stop?
When I was younger I remember thinking suicide was a private choice and that no one else was invited into that decision. While it is morally neutral, and since we cannot presume to begin to comprehend the pain and the emotions that come with such an act, it isn’t something we should talk about. Like there was no more to be said about the subject.
This type of mindset started to change throughout the years when I had my first suicide attempt.
SUICIDE IS NOT A SELFISH ACT
It truly saddens me when I hear that people still believe suicide is a selfish act. What I want to go up and tell them is, it’s a selfless act. Each time I had an attempt, in my mind, I was helping out those around me. I thought their lives would be better off without me.
SUICIDE IS OFTEN IMPULSIVE, IT ISN’T A THOUGHT OUT PLAN
I didn’t plan them out. Each time they were very spurred of the moment and I wanna help out those around me by freeing them of me.
MEDICATION DOESN’T MEAN YOU ARE SUICIDE FREE
I suffered from undiagnosed depression throughout high school and into college before finally being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. During the period of time that I was on medication I had multiple suicide attempts, I lost a friend who also was on anti-depressants for months and her therapist thought she was doing okay. Just because the person is taking medication doesn’t mean their safe, or that suicidal thoughts cannot pop in.
THERE’S IS A PART (BIG OR SMALL) OF MANY SUICIDAL PEOPLE THAT DOES NOT WANT TO DIE
I always thought that everyone would be better off without me, that I didn’t deserve to live, that I was sick and I was taking away the life of those around me. I thought that and so much more each and every time. Maybe if I voiced these feelings, things would have played out differently.
IT’S OKAY IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO
SOMEONE THAT LOST SOMEONE TO SUICIDE, A HUG IS MORE THAN ENOUGH
When my friend took her life a month ago and I found out I was in the middle of a move, and I was with a couple friends who were helping me move. One of them said she was so sorry for my loss and the other one told me she didn’t know what to say so she was going to hug me. That was more than enough. Don’t overthink it.
WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT MORE OPENLY SO THAT PEOPLE DON’T FEEL ASHAMED OR LIKE THEY CANNOT ASK FOR HELP
I still slightly tear up when someone lowers their voice when talking about suicide. In my mind the more we talk about it the easier it is for people to ask for help. If you are ashamed or feel like you are going to be outcasted you immediately withdraw and keep whatever is going on to yourself. Talking about suicide could prevent someone from taking their own life. The less we fear it the more results we are going to see in the form of helping those suffering.
TELL US
What do you wish people knew about suicide and suicidal thoughts and feelings, share in the comment section below if you do decide to share thanks! LOVE YOU ALL.
My hope is that by sharing my story and talking more openly about mental health and suicide will bring more awareness to suicide and suicide prevention. I also wish that it will help others feel more comfortable talking about the subject. It’s time we start talking about mental health and suicide in a safe environment.
If you or someone you know is in a crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the by texting HOME to 741741. Suicide helplines outside the US can be found here.
Yes, this is all so true. I can’t even imagine. I try to be there for people who are down. I always let people know I’m around to talk.
thank you so much amber, that is very beautiful of you!
While there are many factors which can influence a person’s decision to commit suicide, the most common one is that the person has severe depression. A person is feeling great emotional pain but isn’t able to see any way to relieve that pain other than ending her own life.
while i agree there are a lot of cases where the person has severe depression, a lot of the time it isn’t diagnosed or treated. we do need talk about it more openly to bring more awareness.
What an important share. I can tell that your friend’s suicide impacted you profoundly. I participate in a Suicide Prevention Walk every fall. A client/friend of mine lost a son through suicide so I can understand somewhat what you are going through.
i am so sorry for the loss of your friend’s son along with your loss as well. what a beautiful way to tribute his memory. it did, thanks for sharing your story with us scott!
In high school I had a friend who committed suicide. I think part of the problem is that these days people live like strangers next to each other and there’s a lot less caring.
i am so sorry for your loss peter. and yes i do agree, we do often live like strangers. it is truly sad and something we need to change.
This is a tough topic to write on. It takes a lot for someone to take this drastic step š
it is but also a very important one.
I’m sorry you for your loss. Suicide is not addressed often enough because it’s so triggering but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t talk about it. Thank you for sharing your experience.
i totally agree, it is triggering but we also need to address the issue instead of avoiding it. it’s happening and we need to do something about that. and thank you for your words
Suicide is a very serious matter. There are a lot more people within the past few years will take their life for something very small. In our eyes, it seems small but in their eyes, its the end of the world. Please look around to your family and friends and have chats with them regularly to understand their life struggles and most importantly, be there when they need you.
like you mentioned, something that can be small for someone can be very large for someone else and it is important to be conscious of that.
Must be hard to share your story like this! Thank you!
it is but it is also there to help others. so that pain is worth it and the raw vulnerable feeling that comes with being so open. thank you for reading
This resonated with me. Although I have not had close friends or family members make this choice, I have been close to people who have. I also see the rise of younger people making this choice. It breaks my heart and, too, want to create more heart felt awareness. Thank you for sharing your personal experience.
yes, it truly breaks my heart when I hear of an 8-year-old taking their life and that they could be going through that pain. thank you for reading it Kelly š
I’ve know a few people who have committed suicide over the years, although no one I was particularly close to. Its a strange thing to think about. The natural human instinct is preserve our own lives so when someone either does or attempts the opposite i don’t know what can be said. Its a pretty shocking state of mind to find yourself in I would imagine.
it is and in all honesty, we all have different emotions and feelings who knows.
People need to be more open about mental health, it should not be taboo
I agree it shouldn’t be a taboo at all and we should talk about it more openly.
This is so informative article. I still don’t know the pain they go through when they this decision. May be help and reduce the pain.
who knows. i wonder the same thing at times but have come to the realization that it is not our answer. and it is something we should respect.
What an eye-opening post. This really made me think about things differently. Thanks for sharing! š
glad you found it eye opening š
this is a subject that should be talked about more often. It is one that has touched my personal life, my children’s life and I have watch destroy individuals as well. Sometimes there are signs that something is wrong but often the loved ones are the last to know thanks for sharing this post
i am so sorry for the pain your family has endured, and the lives of others. I agree we def need to talk about it more.
This is the most courageous post I’ve read this week. Thank you for educating us on some major misconceptions with regards to why people might consider suicide to be their only way out – of easing others of the pain and burden they feel is caused by them. Thank you for your courage to share something that needs awareness.
Thank you for your kind words, Christine. As tough as it can be we need to bring more awareness so that others feel safe asking for help.
Thank you for sharing a post like this! Everyone is so afraid to talk about suicide that it makes those in need of someone to talk to feel even more lost and alone than they already do.
May from http://www.lavieenmay.com
i totally agree which is why i am so open about my story and journey.
suicide is not easy to understand but it’s true that we should be there for people who need us and to show them they shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help